Does Time Really Heal All Wounds?
Psychology Says It's Not That Simple
We’ve all heard the saying “time heals all wounds.” It’s often offered as comfort after loss, heartbreak, or trauma. But does time really heal? Or does healing require something more than just waiting?
According to psychology, time alone doesn’t heal wounds —it’s what we do with that time that actually matters. Healing is an active process, shaped by memory, emotional regulation, and meaning-making. Let’s explore how different psychological theories explain the complex reality of healing and why, for some, wounds remain long after time has passed.
The Myth of Passive Healing
At first glance, time seems like the ultimate healer. Life moves on, pain fades, and we adapt. But some wounds, especially profound emotional ones like grief, trauma, and betrayal, don’t simply disappear with time. In fact, they can intensify if left unprocessed.
Psychologists suggest that healing is an active process. Without engaging with emotions, memories, and personal growth, pain can remain stuck. This is why two people experiencing the same event can have very different healing journeys—one may move forward, while the other remains emotionally wounded for years.
So what really leads to healing? Let’s break it down.
1. The Two-Track Model of Bereavement (Stroebe & Schut, 1999)
For those grieving a loss, the Dual Process Model of Bereavement explains why healing isn’t just about time but about balancing two processes:
Loss-oriented coping – Confronting grief, expressing emotions, and remembering the loss.
Restoration-oriented coping – Adjusting to life, forming new relationships, and regaining a sense of purpose.
People often oscillate between these two tracks. If they only focus on one—either avoiding grief or being consumed by it—healing can stall. Time alone doesn’t push us forward; it’s the way we engage with loss that determines recovery. But of course, that is easier said than done.
2. Meaning-Making Theory (Neimeyer, 2001)
I recently came across this theory, while undertaking a systematic review; it stipulated that one reason wounds don’t automatically heal is that they challenge our sense of meaning. When we experience trauma, loss, or betrayal, our worldview can be shattered. Psychologist Robert Neimeyer’s Meaning Reconstruction Theory (2001) suggests that healing requires us to rebuild a sense of purpose and meaning after loss. For instance, a person who loses a loved one may struggle with existential questions: “why did this happen?”, or “what’s the purpose of life now?”. If they can find meaning—through spirituality, personal growth, or honouring their loved one—their healing process becomes more active and constructive. This is why practices like journaling, therapy, storytelling, and spiritual exploration help people process grief more effectively than simply waiting for time to pass. Have you ever tried one of these methods?
3. Emotional Processing & The Work of Grief (Freud, 1917; Pennebaker, 1997)
Much earlier than 2001, Sigmund Freud theorised that people need to “work through” grief by expressing emotions, talking about loss, and mentally processing what happened. More modern research backs this up—suppressing emotions can indeed prolong emotional pain. In one of many landmark studies, psychologist James Pennebaker (1997) found that writing about trauma helps regulate emotions and speeds up recovery. People who journaled about painful experiences showed lower stress levels and improved mental health, suggesting that healing requires engagement, not just time.
4. The Role of Memory: Why Some Wounds Linger
Ever wonder why some wounds feel as raw years later as they did when they first happened? Neuroscience suggests that emotional pain is linked to memory retrieval. The amygdala, the brain’s emotional centre, triggers strong reactions when we recall painful experiences. If those memories are revisited without being processed or reframed, they remain as emotionally charged as the day they happened. Therapies like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) help reprocess traumatic memories so they lose their emotional intensity. This shows that healing requires rewiring the brain’s response to pain, not just waiting for time to dull it.
So, Does Time Heal All Wounds?
In short, no. Perhaps time itself does not heal, but it creates the space for healing to happen. in other words, healing requires engagement: whether through emotional processing, meaning-making, therapy, or personal growth. Instead of saying “time heals all wounds,” a more accurate phrase would be: "time gives us the opportunity to heal, but only if we use it wisely."
💬 What do you think? Does time alone heal wounds, or is healing an active process? Let’s discuss it!